give me a different life

sometimes i think of this French chef
who committed suicide
a long time ago

i'm sure you heard about it
he was so troubled with everything

                     i don't want to be like him
                     i have nothing to lose
                     and that's something i never forget

hey
i'm starving
let's go get some breakfast
and some coffee, okay?

we're in the weeds, okay?  in the weeds
we love to be in the weeds

              you know, a lot of artists were here

triggering something inside of you,
the memories inside of you

memory can be
like an anchor
around the neck

                     you have to look at yourself and be hard on yourself
                     every fig will bleed milk if it is not ripe
                     memory can be an anchor

see
looked at my life and said
"i am not happy"

it was too beautiful,
in a way,

       not in a literal way

you had all the sensation of life
sweetness bitterness darkness
a simple recipe

who doesn't want to be
with someone like that?

give me a different life
we would hide here
my little bedroom

                     i thought that was amazing
                     i cried that day for sure
                     i know i am doing the right thing

you need to be hard on yourself
reflect on what matters,
what doesn't matter

what i remember
one thing you told me:

       I do love you.

for how long?

       Until the end of my life.